his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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