I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
