College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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