What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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