Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
