Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you never un-have a 4some
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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