Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
