11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my liver is dry heaving
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
