It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
