hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
