can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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