And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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