Kiss
Puke
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
