doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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