windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
