I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
