And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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