Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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