Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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