My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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