My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
