I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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