I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
