Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You smell like stripper and shame
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
