I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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