boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
