Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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