i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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