goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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