Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
