i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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