So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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