I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
