That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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