just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
