Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i have two assholes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
