So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
