would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think your dad took our porno
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
