need another drink. this is the easiest way
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
