I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im holly from the hills drunk
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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