I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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