I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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