Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
