Do you still have your period?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
