i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
