You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she told me i tasted like america
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
