Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
