I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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