Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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