Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
