Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
