So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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