Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
